: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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