how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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