I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
