No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
