You can't special order awesome
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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