Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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