haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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