...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We named our party play list daddy issues
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
