This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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