One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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