They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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