you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
