i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
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