yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
