I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
