Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
