I don't usually arrange sex via text message
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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