At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
