I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
