Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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