There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
