Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
