i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
