To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
