i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
