I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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