i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
A+ Viking dick
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
