Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
