i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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