i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
