I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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