You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We were destined to go to rehab together
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
