do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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