There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
