He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
