i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I need water and some morals
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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