fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
