PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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