Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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