I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
