go do what you do best...puke behind churches
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
