So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize