he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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