so that wasnt chicken after all
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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