I am puke
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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