Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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