Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
