Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
