i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Panties = found
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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