Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
