We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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